It is with no small bit of interest that I note marriage is once again in much discussion. One of the fascinating parts of the discussion is the un-discussed fact that in English we sometimes use the same word to talk about two different concepts. Take the word ‘stole’ as an example. It can mean ‘a wrap, often of luxurious fur, for the shoulders’ or it can mean ‘to have wrongly taken something from someone’. Those are off the fingertip definitions not Webster’s words.
The first concept, and most important one, the word ‘marriage’ represents is a deeply personal bond between two people. That is what our marriage is..a deep personal bond and connection, born beyond this earthly plane, a merging of two into one, a combining of spirit, a unity. A funny thing about that concept of marriage… no one else gets to, or even can, define it or alter it.
It doesn’t matter what happens in the world..that bond doesn’t change. A twenty something stripper marries an eighty something billionaire for his money…doesn’t change a thing. Various TV networks want to create a series of game shows with the prize being wedlock…doesn’t change a thing. Hordes of people rushing to Las Vegas with $55 clutched in their hands to be married…doesn’t change a thing. All the legislatures in the world get together and redefine ‘marriage’.. doesn’t change a thing. It’s a bond that is beyond the abilities of other mortals to affect.
The other concept represented by the word marriage is the civil contract, the very thing the recurring fuss is all about. Some seem to want to make others believe the fuss is about that first concept of marriage..but it’s not. This fuss is about property rights and fiscal responsibilities and privileges. It’s about the civil enforcement of the disposition of goods. The proof of this separation of the two concepts fall in the fact you can change either and not affect the other.
Two couples stand before some gathered folks, utter some words in front of an appropriate civil or religious authority and enter into a contract of marriage. Couple one has a mutual bond likely to survive beyond their current manifestation on this earthly plane. Couple two was bored on a Saturday afternoon and thought “Why not, it'll help with the taxes.” If those two couples reside in the same state, then both will sign the same civil contract of marriage and be subject to the same conditions of property rights and fiscal responsibilities/ privileges. Totally different in the first concept, equal in the second.
Two other couples stand before some gathered folks, utter some words in front of an appropriate civil or religious authority and enter into a contract of marriage. Both couples have discovered equally strong bonds and connections with their betrothed. Couple one registers their marriage with the state using the standard license for their particular location. Couple two has chosen to enrich a small whoredom of lawyers and create an instrument which outlines property rights and fiscal responsibilities/privileges quite different than that offered by the standard marriage license of their locality. Equal in the first concept, totally different in the second.
The real marriage part of a marriage happens in a place that cannot be touched by the tentacles of civil authority, the rest is just about property and money. Enforcement of rights to property and fiscal responsibilities are the proper arenas for government oversight..but don’t try to dress up those squabbles about the stuff as being about the real aspects of marriage.
If you really want to puzzle around about marriage though..consider this fact. Since September 29, 2001, I have been a duly ordained clergy with the Universal Life Church. Upon submitting the proper forms and fees (it always seems to be about the money, doesn’t it?) I would be duly authorized to preside over the acknowledgement of that special bond and connection between two people or the combining of fiscal affairs (whichever the case may be) and join two people in marriage.
I’ll leave you to your puzzlement now… The Right Reverend Migoi.
