Random thinking....

Just a few random thoughts my brain cells managed to spark up during my recent journeys. It might be a bit long winded so get comfortable.

For those contemplating using radio roulette as their sole source of aural amusement during a long drive there are a couple of things you should consider.

The strongest, longest lasting signal will be a Spanish language talk radio station. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. However, if your command of the Spanish language consists solely of the phrases "Dos cervesas, por favor." and "Donde es el bano.", as mine does, then it is very difficult to extract any entertainment value out of Spanish talk radio. Those phrases seemed to serve me very well during the six years I lived in places where Spanish was the predominant language but they didn't seem to come up during the episodes I listened to on the radio.

The second strongest, longest lasting signal will be a local talk radio station. The person talking on this station will have a voice so devoid of tonal variation as to make the pure tone sounds of an audiogram sound like a musical interlude stretching over several octaves. The reading will be delivered at a pace that makes the slowest southern drawl appear as a staccato, issuance of life saving orders during an emergency. Plus the subject matter will be the minutely detailed minutes of the last school board meeting.

All other stations will fade out on a time schedule of inverse proportion to the quality of the songs they are playing. Good songs...quick fade. Playlist consisting of the B side songs of one hit wonders... audible almost as long as the school board minutes reader. One last caution...if the DJ starts a contest where a question is asked and listeners call in with the correct answer...change channels before they ask the question... the station will fade before the correct answer is given.

It is only by an unbelievably lucky convergence of radio propagation theory and freakish atmospherics that I know the correct answer to: "What object do 70% of U.S. citizens like but don't own?" I didn't make the mistake of listening to the question the next time this type of contest came up.

Speaking of amusements... there is a certain night clerk at the Super 8 Motel - Amarillo East that can be induced to throw an amusing stamp-his-foot, put-his-hands-on-his-hips snit. To get him to put on this display all one has to do is: Upon checking out at 6:10 a.m., proceed to the complimentary coffee urn and proceed to fix oneself a cup of coffee. Upon the clerk stating, "The breakfast starts at 6:30." simply reply "Okay, thanks.", put a lid on the cup and walk out with it.

It wasn't until said cup of coffee marinated some of my brain cells into working that I realized given the body language response to my reply, his statement was probably an admonishment and not an invitation. Of course, by then I was thirty miles eastward on I40, irretrievably trapped in the tractor beam of the fatman chair and proceeding at greatest semi-legal warp speed toward said chair. Mr. Motel 8 Night Clerk...sorry man, didn't mean to usurp your coffee-icular authority.

Visited the UFO Museum while in Roswell. Interesting place, they seem to present both sides of the incident there... a not of this earth craft crashed in the desert or an expended meteorological instrumentation package returned to earth.

I'm not sure that I've formed a firm opinion in either direction. I do however wonder why a population of beings capable of creating a intergalactic craft the size of a Volkswagen wouldn't have a similarly technologically advanced version of On-Star and Triple A. They can travel from a place beyond our ability to detect that life exists there yet they can't manipulate things such that the local headlines from that time read, "Local Rancher, Sheriff, and Military Personnel Perish in Gas Tank Explosion." Just seems like a remarkable lack of consistency in their abilities and intelligence.

Another possibility is that the aliens actually landed in Hondo, NM, interrupting the Senior Citizens Annual Bronc Busting and Rhubarb Pie Gala. Tick off those folks and let them get a hold of you and the only thing left probably would resemble the scraps of a weather balloon.

The answer is "bumper sticker"...thanks for sticking around to the end.

..take care.. tim b